Setting: Haruhi and Kyon are walking home after school.
| Haruhi | : | Kyon, I don’t think I really have to say this to you, but after Sasaki it’d be for the best if you just stop. |
| Kyon | : | Stop? Stop what? |
| Haruhi | : | *hooded stare* You know what I’m taking about. |
| Kyon | : | *raises eyebrow, thinks to himself a little* Actually, I’m… not? Could you-? |
| Haruhi | : | Are you really going to make me say it? |
| Kyon | : | OK, take it easy. If there’s something I can freely admit to you is that there are topics I simply don’t g– *reads Haruhi’s expression, realization hits* Wait! That’s– seriously… *blushes* you can’t be saying you honestly believe I have been.... well… |
| Haruhi | : | Yes, yes I am. So do I have your word that from now on you’ll depart from the way of the typical Light Novel male protagonist and you won’t get a couple of new Love Interests per Story Arc? |
| Kyon | : | *blushes harder* H-Haruhi! I-I swear it was never my intention– |
| Haruhi | : | *sighs* I know, I really do. Just keep the mojo at manageable levels and we’ll just have to worry about easier stuff like a Multiversal Conqueror, Sufficiently Advanced Aliens, institutionalized criminal organizations and your mother. Wait, I take the last one back. |
| Kyon | : | ......... Haruhi? |
| Haruhi | : | Mhm? |
| Kyon | : | Can I ask you a question without you getting mad? |
| Haruhi | : | *pauses* That’s probably the worst preamble to ask a question… *cautious* Sure… go ahead. |
| Kyon | : | How do I do that? |
| Haruhi | : | Do what? |
| Kyon | : | Stop… doing the thing I’m supposedly doing. I have wondered many times how it’s even possible that we all ended in this whole *ambiguous gesture*… but I sincerely have no idea. I have always tried to be a good friend, to be there for all of you and don’t… So, how… *shrugs* how do you think I should go about that? |
| Haruhi | : | ...... |
| Kyon | : | ...... Haruhi? |
| Haruhi | : | You Have GOT To Be Kidding Me!! Wait a second! Don’t say a word! Of course you’re telling the truth, that’s why– OK listen, you just have to.. or rather, don’t let… make sure you don’t… |
| Kyon | : | I’m listening. |
| Haruhi | : | Damn it, I simply can’t– Yes! Just “think Taniguchi”. |
| Kyon | : | What. |
| Haruhi | : | Think like Taniguchi. If you ever find yourself in a Dating Sim-like situation with some other girl, ask yourself: “What Would Taniguchi Do?” It has to be a sure-fire way to kill the mood. |
| Kyon | : | You can’t be serious. |
| Haruhi | : | Well, it’s that or one of us will have to elbow you hard in the ribs each time you are about to raise a flag! |
| Kyon | : | I don’t even know what that means, but I get your point. Think Taniguchi, think Taniguchi… |
| Haruhi | : | Right. As a practice, let’s say I’m an unknown normal girl you just rescued from rampant hoodlums. What would you do? |
| Kyon | : | *raises eyebrow* If the situation is under control, I would ask Ryouko to examine your condition while I call the police and make you a few simple questions to try to distract you a little from the incident. |
| Haruhi | : | Good plan, wrong answer. |
| Kyon | : | OK. Like Taniguchi. How about doing the same while I strike a pose and ask you ‘Are you alright?’? |
| Haruhi | : | Better. Ham it up a little. Then I’d go with a ‘I’m fine. Thanks for helping me.’ Your turn. |
| Kyon | : | *rolls eyes* Right *thinks for a moment then places a hand on Haruhi’s shoulder, looks into her eyes and speaks to her softly* ‘As if I could leave a girl as cute as you alone in a situation like that. Are you sure you are OK?’ |
| Haruhi | : | *full-blown Luminescent Blush* … |
| Kyon | : | … Haruhi? |
| Haruhi | : | ARGHH!! How can you– Damn it! I have to go now, see you tomorrow. *stomps away* |
| Kyon | : | Wait! Haruhi! What did I–? |
| Haruhi | : | Later! |
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