Setting: Yanagimoto, Taniguchi, Mikuru and “Shutaro” go to a dinner double date at a restaurant.
| *Mikuru and Yanagimoto excuse themselves for a few minutes, “Shutaro” and Taniguchi are now alone at the private booth* | ||
| “Shutaro” | : | *notices an uncharacteristic quiet and pensive Taniguchi* Something in your mind? |
| Taniguchi | : | … |
| “Shutaro” | : | *waves hand* Are you al–? |
| Taniguchi | : | Can I ask you a few questions? |
| “Shutaro” | : | *raises eyebrow* Sure, go ahead. |
| Taniguchi | : | The other day when we first met, you and Asahina-san were walking around downtown together. Is that right? |
| “Shutaro” | : | Well, yes. We went to watch a movie that day. |
| Taniguchi | : | That’s a lie. |
| “Shutaro” | : | Eh? |
| Taniguchi | : | Allow me to explain. Just after we parted ways, Yanagimoto-hime called me from the Karaoke Box so we could met there after they finish their alloted time. I remember I could listen someone… er… singing in the background and now I realized that person was Asahina-san. |
| “Shutaro” | : | O_O |
| Taniguchi | : | So, what’s going on, man? How can she be in two places, both separated by a thirty-minutes train trip by the way, at the same time? |
| “Shutaro” | : | Well… *thinks quickly* That was Mikuru-chan’s sister, Asahina Michiru-san. I was helping her with something that day. |
| Taniguchi | : | *raises eyebrow* Then, why didn’t Asahina-san say a word about her having a sister? During dinner she told us several things about Kyon’s little sister but nothing about her own twin. Don’t you think is weird? |
| “Shutaro” | : | That’s… because there are some… family problems between them I can’t freely speak of. |
| Taniguchi | : | Those “family problems” have something to do with the fact you called Michiru-san by Mikuru-san’s given name or the fact she was wearing Kitago‘s uniform? |
| “Shutaro” | : | !!! Er… yes. As I said, there are family matters– |
| Taniguchi | : | *sighs* Stop right there, dude. After so much weirdness around Suzumiya I think I can tell what really going on. |
| “Shutaro” | : | You… do? |
| Taniguchi | : | It’s pretty obvious when you think about. Asahina-san was very obviously pining after Kyon for a year and then suddenly fell for his slightly less snarky double, no offence, who happens to know the twin sister she never speaks about? Tell me, do you want to say it or prefer to hear it from me? |
| “Shutaro” | : | *discretely goes for Altair in a silent stun-mode, points it at Taniguchi under the table* Shoot away. |
| Taniguchi | : | You are two-timing them. |
| “Shutaro” | : | Eh? |
| Taniguchi | : | To be precise, you and that other girl are cheating on her. You and Michiru-san probably were going out for a while now. |
| “Shutaro” | : | What |
| Taniguchi | : | After Kyon got out of the picture because of his engagement with Tsuruya-sempai, you played the Replacement Love Interest card with Asahina-san when she was most vulnerable. Oh, and Michiru-san is in the loop, otherwise she would have not disguised herself as her sister so that anyone who knew her and saw you two together would think that she was Asahina-san! |
| “Shutaro” | : | What?! |
| Taniguchi | : | So, do you like to play Asahina-san for a fool? |
| “Shutaro” | : | *angry* I would never– |
| Taniguchi | : | Then, what? Do you two believe in the One True Threesome? Are you planning to reveal the whole thing to her after she gets so hooked up to you that she will accept? Dude, I never in my life expected to witness something so immoral, so disgusting, so crafty and so… freaking… Awesome |
| “Shutaro” | : | Wait… What? What th–? |
| Taniguchi | : | *not listening* Just dating someone like Asahina-san would rate pretty high in my book but no, you just have to go out with two S-rank girls. And not only that, you somehow convinced one of them to help you to date the other. |
| “Shutaro” | : | *massaging his forehead* Taniguchi, wait! You got it all wrong. The truth is… |
| Taniguchi | : | *still not listening* …and last but not least, they are twins. You are someone who is seriously aiming for the Twin Threesome Fantasy… |
| “Shutaro” | : | *Face Palm* |
| Taniguchi | : | … After learning all this, I don’t know if I should beat you or myself to a pulp. However the article 80 of The Code is clear on this matter… |
| “Shutaro” | : | … “The Code”? Is there a Code? |
| Taniguchi | : | … I shall assist you in whatever way you may require. Just promise me you will STAY FAR AWAY from Yanagimoto-hime. That’s the way of the Bros after all! Do we have a deal? |
| Yanagimoto | : | *suddenly* What kind of deal are you talking about? Wait. Why Shutaro-kun is hitting his head against the table? *frowns* What did you just do, Tani-baka? |
| *Mikuru enters the room with a platter in her hands* | ||
| Mikuru | : | Sorry for the wait, but look at this Shutaro-kun! The chef let me help out with our desserts and– Are you OK K–Shutaro-kun?! You have a growing haematoma on your face! We should place a cold compress ov– |
| “Shutaro” | : | I-I’m fine Mikuru-chan, really. |
| Mikuru | : | *frowns* That won’t do! Taniguchi-san, Yanagimoto-san, would it be much of a bother if we end our dinner now? I need to take Shutaro-kun to my apartment so I can treat his injury. |
| Taniguchi | : | *turns to “Shutaro” with wide eyes and mouths a silent* (DUDE!) |
| Yanagimoto | : | It’s not a problem. *elbows Taniguchi* Right? |
| Taniguchi | : | Not at all. We missed dessert though… |
| Mikuru | : | Don’t worry about it! We can just ask for them as a takeaway. |
| “Shutaro” | : | *stands up* Yeah I’ll go and… settle the bill for now. |
| Taniguchi | : | Thanks a lot! You are my hero, Shutaro! |
| “Shutaro” | : | I am not! |
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The Stinger (with chibis)